Getting out there

Being a single mom while trying to date is really weird. I've had quite a few dates in the last couple of weeks. I only go out if the kids are away, and this month I have had lots of kid free days. I don't want them getting involved in that mess unless things get more serious...which I don't anticipate for some time. The kids are really supportive...they want me to date and find someone special. It's sweet--but strange. It is so weird to be home alone...so it's nice to get out of the house. The dating world is so different now. I'm on a couple of LDS dating sites...it's fun to chat, and make friends- how else do you meet people? Everyone is so busy and in their own world. Everyone I have met is divorced, has kids, and is working around custody/divorce issues. Or they've never been married. All I can think about is how in the world can you be 40 and never married?? So far, the guys I like aren't interested in me...and the ones that are into me, I am not interested in them. The dates I've gone on have been fun...but no chemistry...and therefore no second date. I've been invited to a few singles activities and adventures that sound amazing...but I haven't worked up the courage to go yet. When the time is right I will. So it's been interesting, and I have a lot to learn still. But I am having fun...I guess that's the point right? Ugh...being single stinks!

In a good place

For the last few days I have really been in a good place. I am doing my best to forgive Eric, forgive myself, and to move on with life. What's done is done and I just want to move into a better place. It feels good. I know I will have my days where I am really sad, but for now I feel comforted and at peace.

I went on my first date on Friday and although it was a total bomb...it was nice to be out there in the dating world. I am just exploring friendships and trying to find people I have things in common with. I am very upfront about not wanting a serious relationship right now. Honestly, it is scary how many people out there are in my same situation. I have had a couple of offers for 4th of July dates...but haven't answered either of them yet. The kids will be gone and so I would like to do something. Frankly I'm shocked that I have had any offers for dates...my self worth had bottomed out and I assumed no one would be interested in me. Happily, I was wrong. I still have a lot of work to do on my "shell" and getting to a place where I would even be ready for dating someone steadily.

I'm thankful for all that life offers me...I am grateful for my blessings and ready for more happiness to come my way. :-)