Milestones

The last couple of days have been extremely emotional and hard. But I feel like some important progress has been made.

Sunday I was out at mom and dads with Sierra. Eric was bringing the little ones home around 7 after their day at Lagoon. It was getting close to time to get home and we were still trying to get some things done (rhinestoning shirts, and dad was copying the recital video to DVD for me). So I asked Eric if he wouldn't mind dropping the kids off at my parents. He agreed, which shocked me. He has not seen or spoken to my parents since we separated back in February (except briefly at the recital with his new girlfriend). I think he has been afraid of them, and I don't blame him. But he needed to pick up some of his stuff there anyway.

So he showed up with the kids and I invited him in. Dad was gathering Eric's things downstairs and so he went down to get them. Next thing I know mom is shooing Justice and I out of the room and shuts the door with her, dad, and Eric in there. I thought "Oh boy, here we go." They were in there for several minutes. Not too long- but long enough for me to start getting nervous. I don't know exactly what was said, but I know they said their peace and tried to end things amicably. Then dad and Eric went out to the garage to see dad's new motorcycle. So I'm sure it wasn't too bad. They were so good to Eric and treated him like family. I know it hasn't been easy for them either.

Then yesterday we were trying to hammer out our July custody calendar. We are trying to work in vacations, holidays, etc. He sent me an email that really ruffled my feathers. He was upset that I hadn't warned him about the confrontation with mom and dad. He said to have them call him if they wanted to talk. Well- they did try to call him several months ago, and he had never called back. He said he wouldn't hide from them- well, that's exactly what he's been doing. We talked some more about Vegas- and YES the girlfriend is coming with him. I assumed so. So I asked him to plan exactly what he wanted to do with the kids etc- because I just found out that Chris is bringing his girlfriend too and she wants to meet me for the first time. Yay! It will be one big HAPPY family. So I will be sending kids back and forth from hotel to hotel. What a fun vacation huh!

Then Eric forwarded a very sad email he received from Sierra. She was very upset with him about just dropping her from his life. She addressed a lot of concerns that the two of them have had over the years. She let him know how disappointed she is in this whole mess and that Justice and Tana now have to go through what she has been doing for years- the back and forth between mommy and daddy. She was upset that now her life is twice as complicated and her emotions are doubled. She said she has always wondered how her life would have been if Chris and I had stayed together. It was so surprising, and heart wrenching. I guess I am not that good at reading her. I thought she felt relieved that he was gone- but it is hurting her a lot more than she is letting on. I was so glad that Eric forwarded this email to me because I don't think she would have ever expressed any of this to me. I sat her down and we had a great talk. I apologized for this mess- I tried to explain things to her. I told her how sorry I was for putting her in such an awkward and emotional situation. I want her to know that just because I have had rotten luck in the marriage dept. doesn't mean that she will. I have made a lot of mistakes and a lot of this is my doing- but I don't take all the blame. We talked for a while about things and she didn't say much- it was mostly me talking and her nodding her head and shedding a few tears. Eric also wrote her back a really nice note that let her know that he still loved her and considers her one of her kids- it's just a tough situation.

At the end of the day a lot of crying had been done, but a lot of emotional release and progress had been made as well. I know this whole process won't be easy- but I'm really ready for things to lighten up a bit.