Duh!

Eric just sent me an email informing me that he had just taken the Divorced Parents class that is required for our divorce to be final. He let me know that it was very interesting, he learned a lot, and that it reinforced a lot of what we are already doing.

Thanks for the information. Yeah- I've taken the class before dumbass!! I know exactly what they talk about. We were suppose to go to this class together- not required- but we taked about it a while ago. Whatever. I guess I'm just mad that he did it before me. And that he is so matter of fact about it. Why does this whole divorce seem to not even phase him? Now I have hot tears running down my red cheeks.

I have started a growing list of the things that were not working in our marriage. And the things about him that drove me crazy. And the things about me that probably drove him crazy. Then I refer to that list when I miss him and cry about us divorcing. It keeps me slightly sane. My biggest realization is that I didn't put enough time and effort into my marriage. I only seem to miss him a) when the kids aren't around or b) when I go to sleep or c) when something is broken. The rest of the time my life feels pretty normal and I enjoy the freedom of not having to check with him about everything. What should we have for dinner? Can the kids do this? Is it ok if I buy this? When are we going to do X? I feel guilty about that. But it also makes me realize that I will be fine on my own. As soon as I can find a handyman that will work for free, I will have no need for a man- right?