So hard

E came to pick the kids up yesterday. They were both having an all out tantrum. They are both trying to arrange sleepovers for tonight. Since it is dad's weekend, I told them that they would have to arrange it with him. He has never been a sleepover fan- party pooper. So the kids automatically assume he is going to say no before they even ask. But they asked anyway. He said he would think about it- well they start bawling, and bawling. "You never let me have sleepovers!!" Then it just escalated from there. Montana was complaining about going with him before he even got here. Then when he arrived, she was not quiet about it. Justice started flailing on the floor- screaming "I want to have a sleepover!!". Montana is crying "I don't want to go!" I was almost in tears. I kept telling the kids- "Come on- Daddy is here, he loves you and wants to spend time with you." Poor E- is trying to hold it together. I could tell it was really hurting his feelings. I told him that they will be fine once they get to your place. It's just the getting there that's hard. I had to peel Justice of the leg of the entry table, and then E had to carry him to the car. They drove off- with both kids wailing. I sat on the couch and cried. I know it will get easier- but talk about heart wrenching. They called me before bed and it sounded like things had calmed down- but they were saying they missed me. I tried to be brief on the phone so that things wouldn't escalate again. I told them I loved them, to be good for their dad, sleep well, and I'll see in the morning.
E dropped the kids off this morning and they were happy as clams. Until the door shut- E drove off- and Montana started in again. "I don't want to see Aliens vs. Monsters. I don't want to go with daddy." She started crying again. I sat her down and tried to have a heart to heart talk with her. I tried to explain how much her daddy loves her and he wants to spend time with her. "When you say these things it hurts daddy. When it's daddy's turn- you have to go with him- even though you don't like it, and mommy doesn't like it. It will get easier." I asked her if she could decide- how many days a week do you want to be with daddy. She said- "I don't even miss him! I don't want to go at all!" I was shocked to hear this come out of her mouth. I know she is just saying these things because she is hurting and upset. She said "I'm sick of this- I just want things to be the way they were!" So we just sat there holding each other. I let her cry.
Then I just tried to change the subject- let's draw a good luck note for Sierra. She is trying out for drill team tonight. Let's make her a cute card. It took her a minute- but she did snap out of it.
I am absolutely heart broken today. My babies are hurting and I can't make it better. I feel bad for Eric and I feel bad for the kids. There is no way to deal with this. Hugs, smiles, and a good attitude are all I can think of to help them right now. If I am positive about them spending time with their dad- hopefully they will enjoy it. But I can't make them. I still think every other weekend and one weeknight date with dad is enough for them. I think they are just as mad at him as I am, and it shows.