While we were cleaning, busy, and having such a fun and enjoyable day yesterday- things came to a screeching halt. Montana came in and said with total excitement "Mommy look what I found." I turn around and she had my wedding ring in her hand. I immediately burst into tears. It looked so beautiful and shiny and huge, and has so many special memories attached. Everything came rushing at me like a wave. I feel so bad about this now- but I said through my tears "Go put that back right now!" She ran off in tears herself. I had to collect myself and calm down. I found her cuddled in Sierra's arms on the stairs. Who could help her understand better what was going on? It was a precious but heartbreaking site. I gathered her up and hugged her tight. I apologized for my outburst and tried to explain myself to her. I told her that mommy still has a lot of sadness about this divorce. I do my best to put on a happy face and not let the kids see me sad- but sometimes things catch me by surprise and I react before I think. I told her that she did not do anything wrong- the ring represents a very special time in my life. I do love that ring- and I love you. She seemed to understand, we hugged each other and the day got back to normal.
I did not save my ring from my first marriage and I have always missed it. I am not sure what to do with this ring. We picked it out together-it reminds me of how quickly and hard we fell in love. But it also reminds me of how quickly he fell in love with someone else. It reminds me of all the promises we made to each other- how hard we tried to make things work- how happy and sad we made each other.
It should be just a ring-but it represents so much more.
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